When it gets down to the nitty-gritty – who is in your corner? Transformation can feel like a lonely process – for any number of reasons. You may feel like if you “level up” (aka better yourself) – people will leave you or you will have to move away from them. Sometimes we feel ostracised or alienated when we change. Other times we may even feel attacked when we transform our lives. We often keep ourselves stuck in the same place, stubbornly refusing to move, to avoid any of these situations. We may punish ourselves, ignore people who support our transformation, and opt for people and situations that obstruct our change and success.
The truth is that we are often too consumed with looking around for people in our corner. We want people who will go to bat for us. We seek people who have our back no matter what. Sometimes you may look around and perceive that no one stands up for you, Could it be you’re looking for support in the wrong crowd? What type of support are you genuinely seeking? Are you looking for honesty and real help to transcend; or are you, in fact, asking for some “feel good” enabling to stay where you are? In fact, it may be that you’re unable to find support because you refuse to support yourself. What I mean to say is: If I am rift with negative self-talk, don’t perceive myself as valuable and won’t even stand up for myself, how can I expect anyone else to back me?
For any number of reasons, I’ve grown up with a warped self-perception. “Worthiness” remains a deeply rooted life lesson that I continue to explore and transform in different ways. Worthiness is not just about: “I deserve this treat, job, relationship, money, etc.” It goes so much deeper than that. Our perception of our value affects EVERY ASPECT of our existence here. In light of this, it can seem like a daunting and lonely task to transform our lives.
Here’s the thing: There is always someone in your corner. The “who, what and how” of our support changes as we change. There were times when I felt so alone and lonely on my journey. I felt like no one supported me. Being more honest with myself now – during those lonely times – I did not even support myself. As I began to transform my life consciously, I began to change my self-perception and self-talk. I was, therefore, able to rely on myself more and more for support; and look to others to augment that support. This transforming perspective allows me to see those outside of myself who indeed support me in their own way. We show people how to treat us y’all! The world is happy to comply with our Truth. By the way, I’m not talking about the truth we pretend to believe and talk about. I’m talking about the Truth that we are, that we know and that we sometimes hold deeply within ourselves. The universe and the world respond to THIS Truth.
As I continue to heal, I better appreciate who has been in my corner at different points of my life and the team I have in my corner now. I’m allowing my Self to be my biggest cheerleader. Patient, powerful and loving, my Self waits for the opportunity to show up.
I more readily realise and am so very grateful for the people who have been in my corner as I grow. (E.g. My Mother, my Grandmother, the 1st intuitive guide outside of my family who reoriented me on my path 20 years ago, the numerous friends, guides and family members who have consistently reflected my Truth back to me to help me transform).
The more clarity I gain, the more I recognise that even people who I’ve perceived as opponents are actually in my corner. These sacred adversaries remind and show me what I don’t want, where I don’t want to be and how bad it feels when I deny my Truth (former relationships, workplace issues, relational conflicts).
Our tools and supports change as we change. Remain committed to your transformation and your tools and supports will show up when and where they are needed. TRUST! There is always someone available to be in your corner. As you transition and transform, it may feel like you are alone sometimes. In those moments, just make sure you got your own back. When your supports and reinforcements come along, they’ll take their cue from you!
Through my work in True2Soul, I share tools and supports that have blessed my transformation. In this True2Soul Radio episode (http://bit.ly/2zbHHCh), I spotlight a transformative technique called: Acceptance Technique. I chat with the co-founders Ricardo Martinez and Veronica Gonzales, who I view as an important part of my support network and tribe in my healing journey.